Restaurant
These are presented through my eyes as your favorite customer and are by no means in order of importance. There however is a pattern here and it’s all about me and my needs. In the end I come to be entertained, to take care of my basic need for sustenance and to feel good. I could care less about you and your issues. Please remember that.
1. I don’t need to hear about your personal problems or your wait staff’s problems! I’ve got my own!
2. When I ask “what’s good on the menu?” Don’t tell me everything. Now I can’t trust you.
3. Thank me for coming to your restaurant and mean it. I’ll be really happy! Perhaps I’ll return.
4. Your barista doesn’t need to berate a regular customer for not being a good tipper. I heard that!!!
5. Don’t keep changing the wine list, There are certain wines I like to keep drinking.
6. I can feel the tension between your employees and you. My life is already stressful enough.
7. I don’t mind spending the money, as long as I feel I’m getting really good food.
8. If you treat the people I refer to your place extra nicely, it makes me look good.
9. Why don’t you ever ask me if I was satisfied with my drink and really liked my meal?
10. Every now and then give me a little free goody with my drink while I wait for dinner.
11. Don’t make me stand at the bar and purchase drinks when there are vacant tables
12. Have your wait staff refrain from making me feel dumb if I don’t recognize certain foods.
13. Even if they have to yak while not serving, teach your wait staff to keep one eye on my needs.
14. I can’t stand it when they touch the rim of my glass or the top of the straw. That where my mouth goes…yuk!
15. I said at the beginning that I was rushed for time so now don’t keep me waiting for my check.
16. Tell your wait staff to always make me feel good not just while its tipping time.
17. Stop asking me if I’m still working on it. I never work on my food. I try to enjoy it in spite of you.
18. I want to be able to sit on your toilet and feel safe. Keep it clean and have seat covers there.
19. Don’t wipe off the tables and the chairs with the same towel. Where were they sitting before getting here?
20. Your cocktail prices are way out of line with your competition. What makes you think you can gouge me.
21. Don’t keep me standing in line or waiting at the bar when you have empty tables
22. What’s with the Blue Tooth ear pieces. Stay off the phone while you work. Pay attention to me.
23. Don’t have personal conversations with some of the customers and keep me waiting. I want your attention.
24. I’m insecure, make me feel special and I’ll be happy and say good things about you and your place.
25. I don’t want your excuses for running out of my favorite dish. You should have ordered enough.
26. I don’t want a flashlight to be able to read the menu. That’s not the kind of lighting I do best in.
27. Your online menu bears little resemblance to the food served at your restaurant. Keep your website up-to-date.
28. Check the tables and chairs to ensure they don’t rock before seating me. I didn’t come here to get seasick.
29. I really don’t give a rat’s ass about you. I am tuned in to WIIFM – “what’s in it for me”.
30. My relationship with you and your staff is not that of equals and it will never be like that.
If you have other interesting reasons that are keeping customers away from a restaurant, please add them in the comments section. When I have enough, I’ll compile a new list and post it.