As small businesses try to follow the move to eliminate incandescent bulbs, we decided to take a look at how different business types would go about changing bulbs.

Fixtureless
Creative Commons License photo credit: CarbonNYC

1. How many venture capitalists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t see enough return on investment to be interested.

2. How many marketing consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the light bulb and another to conduct demographic research showing that the customers still won’t find you.

3. How many book keepers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Book keepers don’t change light bulbs. They just record the electrical usage.

4. How many pissed-off customers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to find the hole and two to screw you in with the light bulb

5. How many business consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to tell you that you need a business plan to change the light bulb. The other to calculate the start-up and ongoing costs of the light fixture.

6. How many vendors does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They don’t change bulbs, they just sell you the replacements

7. How many lawyers does it to change a light bulb?
Three. One to tell you about the liability involved for not changing the bulb. One to keep you from being sued while there was no light. And one to help you file for bankruptcy after the second one lost the lawsuit.

8. How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Bankers do not change light bulbs. These days they just refuse to lend you the money to buy new bulbs.

9. How many teenagers does it take to change a light bulb,
None. They’ll be too busy filming you do it and then uploading the film to YouTube where you’ll become famous as you make a fool of yourself

10. How many Twitterers does it take to change a light bulb?
21: One to change the bulb and 20 to retweet the tweet he sent out bragging about how smoothly the change went.

11. How many authors it takes to change a light bulb
None. They don’t change light bulbs. They just write the ebook telling you how to change the bulb.

12. How many bloggers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But he’ll write about it and you be able to stumbleupon his story for years after.

13. How many i-phone users does it take to change a light bulb.
One. He’ll use the LightSource app to provide the light to help you find the hole.

14. How many entrepreneurs does it take to change a light bulb.
One. She doesn’t change light bulbs. She’ll just start up a new home-based business to sell you new bulbs and get rich while you change them.

If you can think of more instances of different people changing light bulbs, please mention them in the comments section below.