This is told in the first person as seen from the eyes of someone who would like to be your favorite customer.
1. You ignored me when I arrived and now I’m leaving, your nose is still in the guest book. How about noticing and acknowledging your customers.
2. You made me sit in the bar while I could see that you had several open tables and you were not that busy. Obviously you’re trying to get me to buy your overpriced booze.
3. The noise in your bar sucks and the couple of screeching females whose high frequency voices were amplified by the poor acoustics did me in.
4. Your dining room is so quiet, it’s like a morgue.
5. It would help if your wait staff would learn to smile occasionally.
6. The menu font is so small and artistic I can’t even read the bloody thing in full sunlight.
7. It’s so dark in here, I can’t read the menu and then you bring me the bill and I can’t even read it to figure out what I’m supposed to tip you on. How about a torchlight with the bill?
8. Your plates are so poorly shaped, every time I put my utensils down, they slide into the food.
9. Your menu is written in French. This is the United States Of America and we speak English here in case you forgot.
10. Your “Juicy steak served with fresh cauliflower” reminded me of the “Dried out steak served with stale cauliflower” on the menu down the street. Don’t state the obvious!
11. I was in a group of four people and the waitress insisted on removing plates before everyone was finished. That was so impolite!
12. I add sugar and cream to my coffee to fit my taste buds – ask me before you add coffee to my cup!
If you can think of more reasons, please leave a comment.